**「If I Had Held You Longer」**

I still see you fixing your sleeve,
Like it never sat quite right,
You laughed and said it’s nothing,
But I knew you were holding the night.
(“Mm…”)

You counted steps when crossing roads,
Held my coat when it got cold,
You smiled first, then looked away,
Like happiness was hard to hold.
You played with rings you didn’t wear,
Tucked your hair behind one ear,
Every little thing you did,
Is louder now that you’re not here.
(“You’re not here… not here…”)

I thought we had forever time,
I thought love knew how to wait,
I didn’t know that silence,
Was a choice I’d come to hate.

I walk through rain and feel your hands,
Still buttoning my coat too tight,
You always cared in quiet ways,
I only see them now at night.
(“Now at night… ”)
If I had said the words out loud,
If I had fought, if I had stayed,
I wouldn’t walk this road alone,
With all the love I never gave.

You waved goodbye like it was small,
Like you’d be back in just a while,
You hid the hurt behind a joke,
Then broke me with that final smile.
You leaned on me without a sound,
Trusted I would always know,
But love doesn’t survive on hope,
And I was scared to let it show.

If loving you was all it took,
Why did I make it so damn hard?
I thought you’d never walk away,
Now every step just tears me apart.
(“Tears me apart… apart…”)

I walk through rain and hear your laugh,
In empty rooms and passing cars,
You loved me more than I could see,
And I was blind to who you are.
(“Who you are…”)
If I could turn this moment back,
I’d hold you when you tried to leave,
I’d say the things I swallowed down,
I’d beg you not to stop believing.

I didn’t lose you in a day,
I lost you every time I chose,
To stay quiet, stay afraid,
To let you carry us alone.
(“Alone… ”)
You were asking me to fight,
I was asking you to stay,
Now I know the cruelest truth,
Love dies when words are pushed away.

I walk through rain and break apart,
Screaming things I never said,
You needed me to choose you then,
I chose my fear and lost instead.
If I had held you just one more time,
If I had loved you out of pride,
You wouldn’t be a memory,
You’d still be standing by my side.

So if you hear me in the rain,
I hope you know what I became,
A man who learned too late how much,
He should have said your name.

(“Your name… your name…”)

**「もし、もう少し長く君を抱いていたら」**

今も思い出す　君が袖を直す癖
いつも少しだけ　うまくいかなくて
「大したことじゃないよ」って笑ったけど
あの夜を　君は抱え込んでいた
(“Mm…”)

横断歩道では　歩数を数えて
寒いと　黙って僕のコートを掴んだ
先に笑って　それから目を伏せる
幸せを　持ちすぎないように
指にはめない指輪を　弄びながら
髪を耳にかける　その仕草
君の全部が
いなくなってから　こんなに響く
(“You’re not here… not here…”)

時間はいくらでもあると思ってた
愛は待ってくれると　信じてた
沈黙が
こんなにも残酷な選択だなんて

雨の中　まだ君の手を感じる
僕のボタンを　きつく留める手
静かな優しさに
気づくのは　いつも夜だった
(“Now at night… ”)
あの時　言葉にしていれば
引き止めて　怖がらずにいれば
今ごろ僕は
この道を　一人で歩いていない

「すぐ戻るみたいに」手を振って
冗談で　涙を隠したね
あの最後の笑顔が
今も胸を壊す
君は何も言わず　寄りかかって
僕が分かってると　信じてた
でも　想いは
黙ってるだけじゃ　生きられない

愛してたなら　それで足りたはずなのに
どうして　こんなに難しくした
君は去らないと　思い込んで
一歩ごとに　心が裂けていく
(“Tears me apart… apart…”)

雨の中　君の笑い声がする
空っぽの部屋や　走り去る車の中
君は僕が気づけないほど
深く　僕を愛してた
(“Who you are…”)
戻れるなら　あの瞬間
離れようとする君を抱きしめて
飲み込んだ言葉を
全部　吐き出したのに

君を失ったのは　一日じゃない
黙るたび　怖がるたび
少しずつ　手放してた
一人で　背負わせながら
(“Alone… ”)
君は僕に　闘ってほしかった
僕は君に　待ってほしかった
今なら分かる
言葉を閉ざした場所で　愛は死ぬ

雨の中で　僕は壊れる
言えなかった言葉を　叫びながら
君が欲しかったのは　選択
僕は恐れを選んで　全て失った
もし　もう一度だけ抱いていたら
誇りを持って　愛していたら
君は思い出じゃなく
今も　隣にいたのに

もし雨が　声を運ぶなら
今の僕を　君は知るだろう
名前を呼ぶことさえ
遅すぎた男になったことを

(“Your name… your name…”)